I am Cat
by Tauni
Summary: Christmas through the eyes of Klunk the cat. Klunk's first person Or Cat hah Point of View. Christmas Special! Oneshot


_AN: Heya! I know I have not done MUCH in a while, sorry. I could throw excuses at you but I will save you the misery. Anyways, here's my Christmas special. I hope you enjoy it thoroughly because I sure loved writing it. If there is any mistakes (... I know that there must be, how can you NOT have mistakes) I am sorry. Its Christmas Eve, I have a headache, and I am getting ready for the faimly party. Yippe. Anyways, enjoy!_

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I am Cat, though the beings around me call me by the unusual name of 'Klunk,' which, when accompanied by the sweet sound of a can opener, has me running to them as if they were a fat rodent and I the mighty hunter, hungry for his meat. Right now I lay curled up in a tight warm ball on the bed of my main provider, the one who is energetic while awake and very warm while asleep.

I try to pay no attention to the sounds that come from the main living area, sounds that any other animal could not hear, the four green caregivers included. The Rat-I-Cannot-Eat would surely hear with his large rodent ears, but that matters not as he is the one who is making the nearly silent sounds.

I have no hold on time; there is no meaning in the little digits that every two legged servant follows so strictly. I know when I must awaken, when my food will be prepared and served to me, and when it is time to play or go out into the cold tunnels to do my business discreetly. If you go by my 'time,' then it is when everyone in the household should be asleep, when the lair that I call home should be silent.

But, of course, it isn't. These servants, while generally very good and well mannered, have a strange and rather annoying tendency to break preset and clearly defined rules; one of those being "It must be silent when Cat is sleeping!"

With a silent yawn and an annoyed stretch, I jumped gracefully off of the rumpled sheets, stopping at the threshold of the room when my caregiver made a humming sound, his paw rubbing softly where my body had warmed it.

I watched him with my sharp green eyes until he rolled over and settled back into his slumber, flicking my tail as I turn and walk out the door that was opened just slightly ajar. With my padded paws I walked to the edge of the second story platform, sitting down at the edge and licking my paws as I watched the large rodent as he shuffled around the first floor of my home.

He was carefully placing objects that looked like the boxes I was so fond of sitting and sleeping in under a large tree. A tree, might I add, that smelt of cheap cat toys and was absolutely horrible to eat. The only thing it was good for was climbing, which I found to be of great amusement because you had to do it behind the servants backs because they disliked it greatly.

Just added to the excitement of the forbidden activity.

What I found of even greater delight was to knock off the many objects they had placed upon the tree, especially the little orbs that so easily fell to the ground with a loud and scary yet exciting clatter! Then you had to run fast before the beings found what you had done, jump on the couch and act innocent while licking your paws and meowing sweetly.

With a flick of my ears I jogged to the stairs, taking them one at a time but at a quick pace so I reached the bottom without much time passing. I silently walked towards the living room where Rat was placing papered boxes under tree that I was forbidden to climb. However, nothing got past that large rodent and he turned slightly my way, watching me with a curious eye as I wandered my way through the maze of boxes and temping string.

I attribute some of the fact that I have yet to eat or even hurt the large rodent to that sneaky little factor. He was more skillful then any rat in the sewers, always noticing my skills when others, including his cubs, do not.

Not to worry, however. One day I will get him, of this I am sure. Even if it is just a taste.

Perhaps this is why he is so cautious around me. Not afraid, I do not smell the rancid scent of fear that I smell from other rodents when they notice that I mean. Just cautious, watching, waiting to see what action I will take.

I think he may know of my inner thoughts, maybe he is a rodent who can read cat minds. Maybe that is why he has lived so long that he is much larger than any other rat, and is so much smarter.

More of a challenge for me, I say.

"Meow?" I speak to him in simple language, language of the tongue and mouth. These servants are far too down the totem pole to know my real language; that of not only of tongue, but also of body and of scent. Their minds are far too undeveloped the complex language of my kind. Of Cat.

"Good morning," the rat spoke to me in their annoyingly load way; though, admittedly, he was much better at it then the other servants. He was soft spoken, not _too_ loud and overbearing.

Still, it was of lower speaking then I what I would've liked to hear.

I meowed at him again, knowing that when his lips pulled upwards it not a snarl, as it was in cat language, but something of good. My main provider pulled his lips up any time I got food, or when I was being petted, or when I was having fun. So I knew that it had to be a good sign.

"Shush, now Klunk." Rodent said. I pulled my ears back sharply at being told what to do.

Doesn't he know that _I_ am the master of this household? What right does he have to order _me_ around? None, none what so ever.

I was about to tell him so when a ribbon of the brightest of reds was dangled in my face.

Instantly, I was in 'Get it and tear it up real good' mode and I leapt, missing it by a mere claw's breath. I was not deterred and leapt again, silently jumping upon a wrapped up box so I was eye to ribbon with the simple, yet overly fun object.

With another great bound I was off, one ear directed towards the light whooshing that the ribbon made as it flew through air and another on a soft, gentle chuckle that came from the Rat. My claw hooked onto the ribbon and I pulled sharply down as I landed on my feet.

The rodent let it go and I claimed my prize, snatching it in my jaws and running with my head held high and my tail stuck proudly in the air. The ribbon dragged on the ground between my feet as I walked to the large and overused couch. Half way there my back leg stepped on it causing my head to jerk downwards and I had to come to a sudden halt.

Looking around with sly eyes I noticed the rat not noticing my falter and I quickly corrected myself, continuing as if I had never tripped in the first place.

Cat never makes mistakes, not in walking or talking or running away with the ribbon. And the servants, if for some strange reason Cat does make a mistake, must never see him doing so.

That was rule thirty-six in my book.

I dropped the ribbon just before I got to the couch, my sharp eyes catching something else that was, to say the least, much more interesting. And strictly forbidden for me to touch.

One large, flicking rodent's tail. Order up!

I immediately went into stealth mode. Crouching down, ears back, tail parallel to the ground and eyes watching that memorizing tail that was still dancing to its own melody. Slowly, I slunk forward, never peeling my eyes away from my next victim.

When I was a mere two tail lengths away and readied myself for the kill, releasing my sharp, deadly claws from their sheaths and tensing the muscles in my back legs. With two more deep breaths, taking in the scent of rodent that I had become drunk on, I pounced, my claws digging deep into thick, hairless skin.

I was released from my trance just before I bit the meat when something grabbed my scruff and I heard the word that the servants called me hissed through clenched teeth. I knew, right away, that the rodent was angry. I could smell it.

So I did what any feline would do.

I played innocent.

My big, green eyes locked with his (I made sure that they were slightly watery to give them a glassy effect that always had the servants melting in my paws). I gave one sweet, innocent dripping call and flicked my tail once.

Hah, he never had a chance.

The rodent let my neck go after he had dangled me over the couch so that when I fell my paws landed softly on the warn fabric. His paw recoiled swiftly and he cocked his head at me as I turned around to face him. My whiskers flexed forward and my nose flared as I breathed his scent in. What a delicious smell he was, this rat that I could not eat or even play with. My tongue twitched in my mouth, but I kept everything under control.

Because a cat, especially this cat, is always in control.

Always.

He made a strange, yet familiar for this servant, sound that was something like a tisk. Between a hiss and a kiss, short and sharp. He then shook his head gently, closing his eyes and letting his lips quirk in that special way.

My ears rose and my tail tip waved slowly because I knew that I had been forgiven for whatever wrong I had done. If this servant was a well trained servant he would know that I do nothing wrong. A master never does anything wrong, they are always in the right.

Good servants are so hard to find these days.

By the time I got out my head away from dreams of fluffy pillows, warm breakfasts, and dogs on chains the rat had returned to his previous actions by busying himself with boxes and paper and tantalizing strings.

I spent a few minutes cleaning my face, mostly to do something but also because it needed cleaning. I hadn't cleaned in like, an hour. It was seriously dirty.

After that action was done I jumped deftly down from my perch on the couch, watched the rodent for a moment more and then scampered off towards my bedroom.

My main servant was right where I left him, only a little different; Sprawled out, covered kicked off, a stuffed panda bear clutched tightly in one arm and the other dangling off into space. I sighed quietly, my tail tensely still in the slightly cold night air.

What would he do without me? Look, I leave for one fifth, two fifths of a catnap, tops! And this is what I come back too. Total disarray.

Taking another sigh I made my way over, leaping onto the bed as I went and landing with a small slide on the strewn sheets. Without thinking twice I padded towards my servant as his face twitched in sleep. This was normal, of course. He twitched more than a kitten, as young ones always have such vivid dreams that take them to other worlds.

I was about to lick his cheek when he uttered a small foreign word. The sound was so sudden and unexpected that I immediately grew still and tense, my ears up and listening as if waiting to hear a threat and my fur on end in an uncomfortable way.

Just as I was relaxing again he made another sound, his fingers that clutched tightly around the toy flexed tightly. My ears pressed against my head as the tension in the room rose slightly. Then, with another small sigh, I stepped forward and placed my nose on his cheek. Because it was cold it shocked him away from whatever he was dreaming about but did not wake him up in the least.

This servant, I knew, was just as young in mind as those juvenile kittens, dreaming of catnip fields and huge rodents that they COULD eat.

However, while pleased that I was protecting my servant, this was not the result that I wanted. Narrowing my eyes, I touched my nose to his warm cheek again, getting a similar result.

_Awh, to dogtown with it! _

I licked him, making sure to use the little scratchy parts on him. They had no idea that these parts helped keep my fur clean and helped me drink water and eat my food, to them it hurt if only a little bit. I used this fact to its fullest potential when the situation called for it.

His eyes flew open as my rough tongue racked against his cheek, giving a small gasp. I jumped back, green eyes flashing in the dark as they reflected the dim nightlight beside the bed. It was in the shape of a servant thinking he was a spider.

Blue eyes darted around until they landed on me, softening at the sight of me. Knowing that I had his attention I turned on my ultimate weapon: The Purr.

Hah! If my pretty eyes and soft fur was enough to break even the toughest of souls my purr was a super power, able to break the demon god of death into a pile of mush. Servant gave a small upward lip movement and lifted his paw away from the bear to softly pet my back. The movement of his limb pushed the bear to the ground and I felt pleasure in the mutated thump it gave as it hit the ground.

Good, stay down there. He has his real comfort now.

I am awake for less than two seconds before my emerald eyes close and I fall asleep purring my heart away.

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The servant woke up with a start that startled me out of my own slumber, my eyes going wide as I slid swiftly from the bed to the ground. However, since I was a cat I had their famous reflexes and managed to get my toes under my body and land deftly on my feet.

My tail flicked irritably as I looked up at my servant as he leapt out of bed and ran to his door. What in the world was he doing, did he have _permission_ to act so erratically?!

He stopped at the door, hesitating for a moment. This was strange, usually my main servant was just fine in moving around, not caring what he knocked over or stepped on. Why was he letting a door that sat ajar stop him in his tracks?

He hummed in a nervous purr that made me sit on my rump as I watched him walk back to his bed and picked up the lighted box which held worthless numbers of time. He seemed to deflate as he set the box back on his bedside and placed his own rump on the edge of the bed. Worriedly, I jumped next to him, giving soft purrs that was meant to calm his feelings and comfort him.

He looked down at me and sighed loudly, an annoying sound that grated on my ears. He was forgiven quickly, though, once he started scratching the back of my ears. Ahh, that's more like it. Doing what he should be doing all the time.

He said something in that gibberish that was servant speak, looking back at the light box and slumping his shoulders even more. I nudged him with my nose when he stopped scratching to gently remind him of his duty.

His paws clasped me around my rib cage and he held me gently as he rolled back on his shell in the bed, putting me softly on his hard chest. I purred loudly for a moment, stretching my back legs outwards behind me and my front legs forwards so they touched the sides of his cheeks. He gave a toothy smile and ran a paw all the way down my back.

Ooooooh, this was better than catnip in a stuffed rodent.

We did this for some time, me purring, him petting. It was nice, real nice. Every morning should start out like this. Of course, I could have done without the dump from the warm bed, but this part… this part we could do more often.

His paw only left petting me every now and then when he would pick up the box and look at it dejectedly and set it back down as if it had offended him beyond belief. If that was what had happened I would be sure to do something to it later. No one but me can mess with my servants.

He checked the box again, me not giving him a second glance at the action, so used to it I was by now, that I was shocked when he rolled upwards and made no action to hold me as he did so.

Great, just doggone great. I am on the ground unexpectedly again.

He did that sound that was much like chuffing, short sharp sounds that was almost always accompanied by a grin, and rushed out of the room leaving me on the floor.

I narrowed my eyes in anger, what right did he have to ignore me like that?! None, none at all! Punishment will be served, I assure you.

To give out this punishment I needed to leave the room, and so I did just that, eyes glinting as I watched through the vertical bars that lined the whole upper floor as my servant jumped into the room and pranced around, looking at the boxes that the rodent had wrapped in paper and then looking in a sock that was the same tint as the strings he puts around his head.

I walked slowly, deliberately down the stairs to the main floor contemplating just how I would give punishment this time. Claw marks in the legs? Oh, but that left me in kicking range. Stealing the best spot on the couch? He sat on the ground as much as he did the couch anyways?

That left only one possibility.

Pooping on his bed sheets. Oh, it would be wonderfully disgusting but a fitting punishment, if I don't say so myself.

Now knowing what I was going to do later that day I walked into the living room with more interest in what was going on. What was up with all of these boxes and strings and socks?

I pounced on a box that was middle sized, my ears pulled forward as I watched him flit through several things at once. Were any of these going to be fun for me to play with, or eat, or attack, or sleep on?

The soft sound of the paper doors that were also a no-no to play scratch post on came from behind and I turned a split second before my servant did to see the rodent limp from his den into the main area. I turned back to my main servant and he looked wide eyed at the rat, looking like a kitten with his paws caught in someone else's litter box.

They exchanged some blah blah blah and he relaxed, smiling and jumping around. Other doors opened and closed and soon four of the five servants where done here.

The one who was almost cat-like in his movements and thoughts came down, his precision in every step uncanny for servants are not supposed to move like that. Some might think that having a servant who is so cat-like would be a good thing, something to enjoy in. Not for me, he felt like competition. He felt, at times, like someone I had to fend off of my property.

In the end, he was still a servant. And a good one, for that matter. Just a strange one.

The other was the one who smelt of oils and beans, the one who was the kindest and calmest. Other then my main servant he was my favorite, one who was never unpredictable in his movements and his voice was always tranquil. He was good company for an older cat such as myself.

The one who I disliked the most had yet to come down. The one who was loud, erratic, emotional. He was a burn in my side at times, so hard to be around a servant who could not put a cap on his emotions of anger and frustration. I had to put him in his place often, and I would venture as far as to place my claws in his legs or whatever else I could get at as long as others where around to protect me from him. He was not allowed to kick me when the others scorn him from it.

Not that he was always bad, the erratic one. He had his moments where his warm body was nice to sleep next too and his scarred paws knew just what to do to unwind my own worry about his behaviors.

How my main servant could stand so much of him, I will never know.

My main servant talked and mingled excitedly with the others, his movements showing his happiness in their quick and fast paced tone. I felt my ears go back against my head slightly, not liking the quick and loud things, and I drift towards the calm servant who had sat himself on the chair and was smiling at my other servants antics.

When he saw me he rubbed his fingers together, clicking to get my attention. I perked up and pounced to his lap, my purr rumbling from my chest as he rubbed me behind the ears. Together we watched my main servant go into unchartered territory: the last servant's room.

I watched the door timidly as he stepped through it, slightly afraid for what was to come. Sure enough, a few minutes later, the last servant was yelling at the top of his lungs and my main servant came bounding from the room to the main floor, hiding behind the very chair that I sat in.

The last servant finally made his appearance, his eyes narrowed as he tied on the strings around his head. He walked slowly, as if to tease the one hiding, down the stairs, his eyes never leaving the spot where the one hid. This meant, unfortunately, that he was staring straight at me.

The fur on my back stood up straight and I made the move to lift myself to my paws, unnerved by the dead on stare, when a hand gently stroked my back and I turned my head to look at the one who I sat upon.

He was giving a small smile, no teeth showing, and stroked me once more as if he knew that I needed to be distracted from what was happening right in front of my very eyes. I agreed with his thoughts and turned my whole body around so I was completely facing him, purring quietly.

With my new point of view I could no longer see the raging force behind me nor the one cowering in front of me. I was sure that one cowering should be whimpering, am I correct? Why was this one snickering?

Why do I have such strange, unruly servants?

Quite suddenly that 'raging force' that I mentioned before came into my vision as he rushed behind the chair and nabbed the one hiding by the strings on his head. My servant yelped in mock pain as he was yanked upwards and away. My fur tightened against my skin as I quickly got to my toes and pulled my ears tight on my skull. I growled lowly as I stepped up the shoulder of the gentle one and then, once I had two paws up there, I let out a furious hiss.

No one hurts my servant!

They did not even notice me and kept on their antics, running around the living room and into the kitchen, one chasing the other with loud shouts. I hissed again in displeasure.

Then the face that I was next to spoke something, I knew not the words but the tone was comforting. I allowed him to pull me down and back into his lap. I still felt uneasy but the soft strokes on my back slowly calmed me down and soon I was watching the other two sit down at the rodents command.

A sock was handed to everyone and they all tore into it, with all different excitement levels. My main servant was the most excited, tearing through it as if it was filled with capnip. The one he sat next too, the one who had attacked him just a few minutes ago, was also quick but with a much lower volume level. The last two where the slowest, giving their thanks at every little thing that they pulled out.

It was near the end of this that the front door opened and the humans walked in, the one with red fur on her skull and the other much larger human. I purred and meowed in the same sound, jumping off to greet them into my home, rubbing the redhead's legs and staying away from the tall one. He was clumsy like a dog and had kicked me one too many times.

Sadly, they were all carrying boxes and bags and so could not pick me up, but I followed them into the living room craving their warm hands and soft laps. They both placed their things down and then sat on the couch, me not far behind.

The woman's lap was, as expected, warm and soft. Her fingers scratched behind my ears with precision that none of my servants could ever muster with their much larger fingers. I purred in gratitude.

Then they all went around and ripped the paper off of the boxes, taking turns and flinging things around. Once I saw a box free of its confines and empty I jumped down and leapt deftly into it, curling up for it was slightly too small but I enjoyed it anyways.

I was only in there for a few minutes before my main servant pulled the box towards him and then gently lifted me out, putting a package in front of me. I stared as it boredly, unsure of what he expected me to do with it.

He sighed and rolled his eyes and the others around him laughed, then grabbed the package and opened it himself. The scent hit me like train; _catnip_!!!

I leapt forward and snagged the toy between my paws, my claws lodging deeply into its fabric stirring around the delicious scents. Meowing happily I rubbed my face against it, ignoring the fact that it was in a shape that was supposed to echo that of a mouse. Who cared about that, it smelt fantastic!

I continued my own antics as more boxes and bags were passed around and opened, their talking only background noise the object in front of me. Oh, my servants are so nice, getting something for their master!

I stopped my rubbing, keeping the toy between my paws, and watched those around me. They all seemed pleased, smelt of happiness. I rolled my shoulders slightly, enjoying the moment. Not often was a clan so large all happy at once.

They all got up as one and walked into the kitchen, me following not far behind. They sat at the table and my main servant along with the female and the rodent gathered food and placed it on the table. I only had to meow once, a friendly reminder, for my main servant to open up a can of cat food and place it on a plate.

I ate it while they ate their own breakfast, accepting the bacon bits that they all handed down to me and eating up the eggs that fell.

It was a nice day. I was stuffed to the brim. My toy still smelt as great as when it was opened, everyone was happy and enjoyable and had things to distract them.

Until the raging storm attacked my main servant because he took some sweets from him.

I already miss the calm.

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_AN: Ok, so what did you think? Good, bad, medicore? _


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